It’s the little things you never expect. Very few funerals are marked by weeping and wailing these days. At most, a moist eye, or a faltering voice over a dearly cherished phrase or memory. We are not very good at death, are we?

Actually, as Catholics we are. There are numerous little traditions that are of great assistance to us in the grieving process, but you need to know what they are in advance. Since Jesus Guild is charged with promoting and fostering culture, we thought we would share with you a few of our favorites:

The Month’s Mind Mass

The Roman Missal traditionally encouraged the celebration of Requiem Masses to mark 3 days, 30 days or 1 year after someone’s death or burial. In the English speaking world, the 30 day Mass became known as the Month’s Mind, and the Anniversary Mass, the Year’s Mind.

At the time of a funeral all normality goes out the window. There’s bureaucracy to deal with, and family to deal with. It is always a strange time, and not one conducive to prayer or recollection.

The Month’s Mind is a time to regroup, to gather friends and loved ones again, once the sting of death has receded, and healing has begun. It’s a time to pray, and to ask God’s mercy on the soul of a loved one - and perhaps even time for a bit of laughter. A meal in a favorite spot afterwards is always appropriate, where a desire to reminisce can be accommodated.

Catafalque Candles

Many grieving families recoil in horror at the idea of mourning - indeed, family members will often suggest that a funeral be called ‘a celebration of life’ or suchlike. But that is not really what a funeral is for. We need the formality of mourning in order to process what has happened. To exchange all that for a bland gloss does no honor to the Deceased, nor is it really very honest. All of our lives are a mixture of good and bad. There is often much to give thanks to God for, but not all of it should be celebrated.

A funeral helps us to deal with all of it; the good, and the bad. One way of elevating the symbolism is the placing of large candlesticks with unbleached candles around the bier. It is important they are not too small - Altar candlesticks are not really tall enough - and make many celebrants nervous about singed elbows. But proper Catafalque Candles point to heaven - they speak to us in non-verbal language of our hope for the Deceased, and denote the presence of something sacred: the mortal remains of a child of God.

Mass Cards

A Mass Card, with a picture of the Deceased and an invitation to pray for their soul is a must. They can be highly personal, or relatively simple, but all Catholic funerals should have Mass Cards produced for the Faithful to take away.

Walking Processions

Here the Oratory, we are fortunate to be close to our friends at Bouton Funeral Home www.boutonfuneralhome.com - and one of the most poignant changes we have made is to invite the family to walk in procession behind the hearse from the home to the Church as the priest recites the Psalms. It is incredibly moving to ‘go to Church’ one last time with someone dearly departed. Taking them home is an act of great kindness, and allows time for prayer without the distraction of awkward chit-chat.

These are just a few of the hallowed rituals of our Catholic Faith. There is much that we can pick up again, if we choose to do so. Making holy the everyday also includes a healthy attitude to our own mortality. In Rome there is an oratory dedicated to prayer for the Holy Souls: Santa Maria dell’Orazione e Morte (‘Saint Mary’s of Prayer and Death’) is halfway down the Via Giulia on the banks of the Tiber. It presents a classic Roman scene from the outside, and in a city like Rome it is not particularly remarkable inside. But, the alms box on the outside of the Church has a little winged friend who always raises a smile:

This cheery chappy has a message for all of us: hodie mihi; cras tibi (‘to me today; to you tomorrow’) encouraging us Christians to confront death, not in euphemism, or circumlocution, but head on. Death is not the worst thing that can happen to us; losing God’s friendship is much, much worse.

Fr. Clark to deliver Inaugural Bishop’s Lecture

It is not too late to sign up to attend Fr. Clark’s lecture, entitled Rooted in Light: Gothic Architecture and the Transformation of Culture at All Saints School, Norwalk, CT tonight, January 31st at 7:00 PM.

Bishop Caggiano invited the Rector to speak on a matter close to his heart: the history of Gothic architecture and what it can tell us about our relationship with Christ.

From its origins to its final flowering before the Reformation, the Gothic style reached unsurpassed levels of sophistication and elegance, captivating the hearts of the Faithful as much today as when the grand cathedrals of Northern Europe were first built.

But subsequently, a disconnect between the Cosmos and liturgical reality has crept in, following a drive from the Council of Trent onwards to make the Mass more orientated on teaching than worship. Fr. Clark presents a different vision; one in which we may rediscover our inheritance in architecture that makes all Creation sing God’s praises.

We’re hiring!

• Marketing and Public Relations Manager 10-15h pw

• Administrative Assistant 15h pw

• Art School Coordinator 10-15h pw

• Art Teachers (1099 Contractors) at Elementary, Middle and High School level, as well as Adult classes

We will be advertising for these roles in all the usual places over the next few months, but perhaps that person could be you? Or someone you know who is eager to work at the cutting edge of ministry in today’s Church.

For an informal discussion, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us on [email protected] to speak with Jeff Majoris, Office Manager about your resumé; and if you know of someone - spread the word!